Kylie Stojentin
For the fourth blog assignment I wrote an essay titled, “Music
Therapy Aids Rehabilitation.” In this essay, I discussed how rehabilitation
centers should use music therapy sessions in addition to their usual treatment
regimens. Studies have shown that including music therapy sessions to aid
rehabilitation for drug abuse has greatly increased a patient’s enthusiasm
about the program, thus encouraging them to stick with treatment.Through this
paper, I attempted to create an arguable thesis and use a source to prove my
point. I also wanted to address my audience of mostly college students and
anyone interested in the field of music therapy. In order to address my
audience properly, I needed to write my paper in an academic tone while keeping
each paragraph straight to the point, as not to lose my reader’s attention. I
wanted to also create a thesis that would engage readers but also stick to the
point as to match the rest of my essay. The thesis I came up with was, “Compared
to other treatment methods, music therapy sessions are highly effective and an
essential agent in substance abuse treatment and should be incorporated into
ever rehabilitation program’s agenda.” Personally, I thought this was the best
working thesis I had come up with for this essay. This thesis covered each part
of C-S-C and was very clear on what my argument was. I analyzed the article I
read as my source throughout all of the essay, explaining in detail why music
therapy helped as much as it did. I also feel that I used this source well
because I picked out all the important and essential information that would aid
my argument the most.
In the research paper I wrote last, I used everything
that I learned from previous blogs to aid my writing. While this research paper
was most similar to the fourth blog since I had to create another thesis and
argue a point, instead of one source I incorporated about eighteen. Having even
more information to sort through, I really had to focus my attention on only
the essential parts of each article to include in my paper. I feel that this
skill of sorting through sources and finding the most useful information in
each has been the most useful skill I’ve learned and improved on all semester.
My research paper was titled, “Bringing the Green to California,” and discussed
the benefits of legalizing marijuana. Because this topic is heavily
scrutinized, I wanted to be sure that I kept a different audience in mind while
writing. I wrote this essay as if I was addressing politicians and lawmakers in
government since that is who has the ability to change laws. I discussed the
potential tax revenues as well as the tax dollars saved on law enforcement in
great deatil for this paper as to properly address my audience. My thesis also
covered those points, and though I have to say it was not my best thesis, it
still got my point across and made my argument clear. However, I feel that I demonstrated
my ability to analyze very well in this paper, using opposing arguments to my
benefit making my argument even stronger.
Compared to my previous papers, I would say my writing
has improved greatly. Initially, I wrote my papers without an audience in mind
but now I have realized that with an audience to address, my arguments become
stronger and more logical. I also feel that my ability to analyze has greatly
improved as well, and this is very clear in my last research paper. For
example, an opposing argument to the legalization of marijunana is that
marijuana is a gateway drug. Instead of ignoring this argument, I chose to
incorporate it into my essay and attack it. I acknowledged the truth and logic
behind the opposing claim, but attacked its likelyhood with statistics to prove
my argument. I think this type of support in a paper is the strongest and
therefore one of the most essential parts to a well written research paper.
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